Sprouting flowers

I quiet myself tonight
I find You here breathing new life
Holding tight to all You've said
Yet so many phrases not yet heard & unread
These pages here before me
Begging to be read
& some written in my head
Words once dead now breathe again
So instead of gathering dust on the shelf
I belt on the truth & eat my daily bread
Such nourishment is found
One word from Your mouth
& all else is drown out by Your power
Your living water showering a drought here in my soul
Sprouting flowers once planted long ago...

Healing

I feel like I'm trying too hard
Like I'm getting a running start
But the path seems too far
To get to where You are
Trying to destroy the walls around me
Desperately running to every corner to get free
Cause' I can't breathe in here
I weep cause' I just wanna see a glimpse again
I'll stop pretending like my position
Doesn't effect the condition of my heart
I'll stop defending the parts I've swallowed hard
Hoping that the gold stars and my good deeds
Would push them so far deep
That they would sink and never retreat
The memories that creep like a bad dream
And defeat my sense of security
My cheeks wet with tears
From my head full of fears
Falling down my neck
From the pain that vexed my soul
Leaving holes unfixed
Afraid to pick the scabs of my past
Afraid to let the mass of pain
Invade my soul again
Cause' with this pain
I can't pretend
Blood is red
I can't stem the flow
Or blend it with the rest of me
It's revealed for all to see
Maybe that's how You designed it to be
Maybe You want me to be free
To bleed with my need for You
So these contusions would lose their sting
And bring about healing
Realizing
Pain is a familiar name to us all
Since the fall when You called out to Adam
He balled up and was adamant to Your ways
Nothing has changed
We all go astray
And leave You hanging
Your heart's familiar with breaking
And we're waking up from our sleep to see
We've been eating but it's not been feeding us
I dream of how Eden was
The flawless trees of lush
The innocence of a blush
The satisfaction of having enough
But we messed that up
Our souls camped up in a dry land
Making our beds in the sand
Holding hands with death
Breath tight and thin
Wondering when the affliction will end
Drinking but throat still dry
Eating but hunger never satisfied

And tonight...
Here am I.

I have nothing left to give You but my life
With crying breaths welling tears inside
My eyes mirror my weariness from the fight
Yet You reply...
"That's just right
A broken and contrite heart I desire
I never tire of starting again
I'm always tending
To you ever-mending heart
Never to leave a single marred part behind
All the pieces of your scarred life in My hands
With the grandness of My plan in mind
And when it's time to take you through the fire
Realize, child, that my ways are higher and wider
Than your mind can comprehend
I'm just trying to make you moldable
In my hands once again"

Maybe...
You want me to be free
To bleed with my need for You
So these contusions would lose their sting
And bring about healing.

You're curing my pain

My heart is burning
Flames churning high
From the fire You're stirring
You're curing my pain
From all these games I've played
New names; different faces
Same temptations; Same Satan
Weighing on my soul
I've been trying to take control
Trying to play Your roll
When I know I always steer towards the wrong road
This road...
Broad as the flow of the ocean
The surface looks perfectly harmless
Better grab a harness
Cause' the water's tide
Gonna take you as deep as it desires
Full of have truths and whole lies
No black and white lines
Just gray phrases that derange your mind
That's why
The disguise is far more deceiving than you realize
Like this road-with eyes looking fine
With a step takes your breath away
Like quicksand grabbing you like prey
Afraid to look down
As it spirals me around
I sink to the ground
This mountain of guilt
Mounds upon my wrists
From years of life's hits
A permanent prick at my soul
As my grip gives in...

You find me on the ground
Not making a sound
Down in the depths
I've wept too long
No longer strong enough to speak
Yet my silence sings a song to You
Who knew me and knows me now
As I'm on the ground
I'm found by You
Always proven to be true
It's You
I call out Your name
Cause' I know it can save me
One breath of it's fragrance
And all my arrogance flees
I cling to Your feet
As the sting of this world
Hurls strings at me
Tying me up while singing
A tune sounding so close to the truth
Yet here on the ground...
I know it's only You

My heart is burning
From a life full of hurting
Wrong discernings and flirting with sin
Surging from a yearning within
From a pit much deeper than skin
Wanting it all to end
Wondering when You'll break in
So the fear will subside
And my eyes will dry
Break me in pieces I don't mind
Cause' my only piece is when I stop trying
To bind my own wounds
It's You
I choose to let Your touch heal my bruises
A sweetly broken surrender
Where I render all and keep none
Done with the games and names I put on sin
You win...

My heart is burning
Flames churning high
From the fire You're stirring
You're curing my pain

Snow Globe

I'm trying to take this one step at a time
Cause' each step feels like five behind
I don't know why
But should I even try?
Your ways are so much higher than mine
I trust You with my life
Yet it's not a surprise that I still have questions
I'm just a child
Trying to do my best in my temporary world
Jogging steadily on this course
On this race you've set of before me
Customized to fit me perfectly
Though that's not always how it seems
When ahead I see turns and curves and uncertainty
When the going gets tough
And the road becomes rough
Covered with pot holes and bumps
Sometimes I've just had enough
And I need Your grace to pick me up
I feel like You've shaken me in every which way
My world like a snow globe in Your hands that You've made
The climate of my race feels a lot like today
I look up and all I see is haze
As I sit in my snow globe world and wait
For the pieces to descend and fade
Falling exactly where You say
I look around at the leaves in the middle of change
As You rearrange for a new season
You do everything with purpose and reason
You never leave the scraps of what's happened to me on the floor
But You perform a miracle
And the scraps become a tapestry
An empty canvas for You to freehand Your plan
You use the shades and the haze
The times where I don't understand
And against the colors the shades make sense

So I will wait...

This is Beauty

Girls, this one is for you! This one may be hard to read. It's pretty raw and deep! But don't act like you don't go through it too...we're all the same! Read it and remember, you are beautiful!


This is "beauty"
Hanging in the racks of our stores
Screaming that you need more and more
To be the girl this world excepts
Though next week it will change
It's all the same
"You'll never be good enough" they say
This is fame
So you'd better play the game

This is "beauty"
See the mass of girls we've fascinated with our ways
Don't they look great?
With hazed faces they all parade
To a fake place of acceptance and praise
How quickly is fades
Attentive to the swaying opinions and needs
A poisoned mentality that constantly repeats
"What can I do for everyone else around me?"
As dignity breathes no more
Beauty has become nothing more than a chore
How could we say that this is what God created us for?
Have we allowed the enemy to distort it's true meaning?
I have the feeling we have got it all wrong...
Because you see
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting
And it seems we've been beating ourselves up for both
When a King longs to clothe us with true beauty
Pleading with us to stop feeding of the lies
To take of the disguise and look into the eyes of Him
Who loves us with passion

This is beauty...
To be in the arms of a Savior
Who favors us
Whose love does not waver or rust
It is enough
He gives to us what we didn't know we needed
And he heeded every cry in the night
When we tried to be what we couldn't
When we became what we said we wouldn't
When the fight sucked the life out of us
He says that's enough
He melts the tough hearts and every part that's cold
He molds and holds
Restores and brings forth
Frees and believes in us
To be the masterpieces He created us to be
We are daughters of the King
Clothed in royalty and free
I hope you can see...

For, THIS is beauty.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

The Battle

The battle line is drawn
It's all in black and white
We've been asleep too long
It's time to fight

We wake up to a war deep in our souls
Sometimes it feels hopeless but we know
This battle we're in is because of sin
This battle isn't a fight against skin
Ephesians states in clearly
Read it and hold dearly to it's words
May God stir our spirits again
So when the devil's schemes rise and sting
God says through my power victory will sing
When you think you can stand anymore
Stand your ground again because I say you can
Don't quit cause' the armor may not fit
But I've given it to you and I will equip you
The belt the breastplate and the shoes
With these you will not lose
The shield the helmet and the sword
I am Your Lord
Go in my name
The name above all names
And no weapon that comes against you will remain
No fight that you fight will be in vain
Without me defeat is all you will see
Your enemy is crafty but he's just a show
He has no authority over you
You must pray every day for the saints
May tension fade and unity remain
Your faith linked together is better
Don't sever the army I've made
You must daily pick up the armor
It's heavy but each day you'll get stronger
The arrows of the enemy will not stop being shot at you
So you've got to trust me and do what I've taught you
Give the glory to Me
Because I won this victory
That all may see and put their trust in Me

The battle line is drawn
It's all in black and white
We've been asleep too long
It's time to fight

Marionettes

Sin has crept it's way into the church with a new name and a different face. Sin is welcome and accepted, yet ignored and rejected. Not acknowledged as sin, it's disguised with a grin and planted deep into the hearts of this generation. Causing them to sit in church with dark eyes and little light in their minds. Their Conscience screams but is only faintly heard as the fiend directs a scene known as "The Generation on Strings".
They are becoming marionettes, one by one. Playing the game of sin and boy, it is fun...